which way?

¿pasado o futuro?
¿the foreign or the familiar?

¿seguir o olvidar?
¿新 或 舊?

東?南?西?北?
¿the unknown or the known?

¿the heart or the mind?
¿the easy or the difficult?

¿the adrenaline rush, or the soothing calmness?
¿otra vez o jamás?

¿ahora o luego?
¿self or other?

song: Zemfira - Macho /Zemfira-macho.mp3

this familiar train track of San José gives me lots of memories. one way leads to little big world of CISOS / UWC. where my first tico home/work was. And along the track, it passes by Novatecnia, where I spent time with jorge, pablo, paulo, melissa, and leo - where we practiced English after their working hours. It also passes by parque sabana where my favourite granizado man was. where i was welcomed by a piece of bird dropping on canada day 2006, the same day where juraj, maga, and I had our first team building. it was also where chloe and i spent time talking to an overly friendly jogging guy whose ambition was to go to switzerland. it was where i found myself enjoying one of my last granizados 18 months later with yahelena, carlota and juraj. and continuing on the track would pass by the temporary AIESEC office where maga and i spent our last days of our term. and passing by the calle where i ate, smiled, danced, laughed, watched saprissa win, had candy, said 'hola', drank aguilas and rubias with Juanca, gato and juraj, ordered nachos, get happy with reggaeton, and complained when there was too much dancehall, ate monster pizza, traded a match stick for an ice cream cone at glu-glu's....and more 'hola's. A train that would ultimately end at U Latina, where I spent 500 interesting hours of my life speaking English in the most interactive and energetic classes to duller and low-energied ones. where i would spent a happy 15 minutes each day before classes with derick, eli, and ivannia...

All of these are positive memories I would guard with ALL my life.

'A picture speaks a thousand words'

or so they say.

and this is the story of a one-railed train track...going in both directions of san josé each day, morning and evening. seemingly in all directions of life.

Life, which way are you going? Forward? North? Left? New? Easy? Is it a complete circle?

teacher's block

...have been sitting on front of the computer trying to think of a lesson plan for tomorrow's class... and I realize it's actually quite a challenge to think of a lesson plan. I decided I'm going to follow last week's theme of 'behind' with the concept of 'left-right'. But my mind is stuck, and going on the internet to look for ideas doesn't help much so far. Most sites are for ESL students of elementary school students all the way to adults. But hardly any preschool age (how do you call a 2-3 year old anyway? a toddler?) And other sites for preschool age are for native speakers, which makes a big difference. My challenge is to find fun interactive activities, but can't be too complicated for non-natives. And the attention span of such a small class is hard to handle... I miss teaching adults very much. just loved my old classes in Costa Rica when we can generate such hot discussions in class. I remember I learnt most of my insights into an adult's Costa Rican's life that way.

so...I will get back into brainstorming for my class tomorrow. Perhaps a string of classes would help me a lot more to gain momentum...

the menu

had a nice lunch today with Beatrice... and at the restaurant when we received the menu, she immediately covered the words, and asked me: do you the the English or Chinese on the menu?

I answered: English.

Simple, but interesting question.

Later on the evening, as I hike up the hundreds-stairs to my home...started thinking about this linguistics topic: For people who are speak more than one language, do our personality defer based on the language we are speaking? We maybe more able to express ourselves in various parts of life when speaking in different languages.

For example, if the working language of an organization is English, but the native language of the workers are not. Then do people tend to be comfortable explaining work-related topics in English, but not as comfortable expressing their feelings or affections than their native language?

In my case, my technical mother tongue is Cantonese, but my best language is English. I think in English mostly, and express myself best in English. In the past 6 years, when I can say I do not speak Cantonese at all...I feel my current vocabulary lack some words to express the way I feel. In a funny way, I feel myself being able to express my feelings more comfortable in Spanish than in Cantonese. Maybe the external environments fosters the type of vocabulary you learn.

And what about HK people that we write very often in English in emails or MSN? Hong Kong people virtually communicate in English, but most speak Cantonese when physically present. Is it because it's not as 'fast' or 'convenient' to type in Chinese only when necessary? It's part of the skills part on one's CV to be able to type Chinese on a computer for example.

I recently Chaired an AIESEC conference in Hong Kong, and facilitated in another (AMAZING experience by the way... AIESEC Hong Kong is bright with such energetic generations of AIESEC!!!=))). One of the aspects of the conference I noticed was English was used from start to finish. Eventhough most of the 150 present of the conference do not use English as their native language, (most speak Cantonese, and some Mandarin), an LC level conference was conducted in English, facilitation, discussions, handouts, reflection sessions, expectation sessions, external speakers...everything. Even the new cheers that the groups created were in English!

I remember it was such an issue in CAS to have our region to be more English orientated. It coincidentially had Juraj and myself as two MC members who did not speak Spanish fluently. We didn't want US TWO to be the reason (or excuse) to have our conferences, have our newsletters, have our spams in English, but really hoped to move it in an English-speaking direction. It was even a selling point of AIESEC, I remember! To practice English! I remember one case very well... when I first met Paloma...when she first joined AIESEC, her English was quite limited...but when I left...CAS 1 year after I met her, she was speaking English to me all the time, especially when I was lazy in speaking Spanish! =) Sos un Good Case Practice, Popita!=)

And it was a similar experience in Southern Cone, when Svitlana and I first arrived. As we were the two non-Spanish native members in Southern Cone. And again was an issue to slowly introduced English, as the previous MC team was completely Spanish speakers, and the whole region was run in Spanish. I remember the EBs meeting was mixed, Spanglish...and it had produced positive experiences! I remember I made quite a few agreements with members who wanted to practice their English, so I only communicate with them in English. Just remembered skype meetings with each and everyone I had was a BIG Spanish lesson for me =) Coaching in Spanish, now that's a nice challenge. Just hope now the English culture will still be continued, as it's vital to communicate with the rest of the AIESEC network, and beyond of course.

As I type this, I thought of one of my students I'm teaching now. A VERY adorable 2-year old girl. Don't know if I can call them my students as it sounds waaay too formal. Anyways. I'm teaching English, and am suppose to ONLY speak English, not letting them know that I speak Cantonese. It's always a guessing game to know if they actually understand me and my instructions. With this particular girl, she doesn't even seem to know how to speak yet. She knows what's happening, and makes sounds, faces, and laughs outloud when happy...but she doesn't speak yet. And I recently just found out from another teacher that she is being exposed to too many languages daily: her mother speaks Thai, her grandmother speaks Mandarin to her, and obviously there is Cantonese, and the family maid speaks broken English to her. How can a toddler learn how to communciate in such environment?! I even feel guilty by speaking even more to her! =P But she's one of the cutest, just loves it when I put her high up in the air! And reaching the giant decorative dragonflies that are hung from the ceiling. She is one who always gives me a hug at the end of the class.

So just some spontaneous thoughts on language, especially in multilingual environments, from being a toddler learning how to speak, and to adults. Love languages, and still aiming to discover our world through learning them. And from them, learning more ways to express myself in various settings.

a warm place on Earth...

Sleeping is one of the best activities of life. a gift god has given us to enjoy... we spend 1/3 of our lives in our beds. it's just as important as the time that we are awake...'trying to make the most of our lives'=)

miss those times when it's a freezing wintery weather outside... and i find myself warm, cozy underneath the blankets on a saturday morning...and knowing that there is no place better on Earth than to be there in the warm bed. miss that feeling...

new

Sensing a new energy. Perhaps it´s a new full moon, perhaps it's the scorpio month, perhaps it's a new year coming... I feel a sense of renewal. I never paid that much attention into horoscopes until recently when I have had more time. But maybe it's somehow all connected.

Feeling on the upswing of things, and regathering where I left off. Feeling better. Pura vida. =)

Dream your dream

Music: Bendita Tu Luz /07%20Bendita%20Tu%20Luz.mp3

I woke up today after 14 hours of rest. It was a very long and unusual amount of hours. No matter what time I sleep, my body usually gets up after 8 hours. Maybe it was the way my body told me it really needed it. To cleanse and recover from a very emotionally-charged 24 hours.

I feel a bit refreshed, but as my mind becomes more awake. Polluted with reality...the similarity in the lack of deepened happiness within my body arrives once more. The dedicate shell of smiles, of laughters seems to be at the similar state as the day before.

A conversation in my dream woke me up. Someone shared the sentance: 'dream your dream'. My eyes glew, and enthusiastically agreed. I wanted to join the conversation by saying: 'we shouldn't live someone else's dreams - do what you want to do. Not what others want you to do. Being less altruistic maybe the happiest way sometimes'. A recurring theme that has now rung true a few times in the past weeks.

But before I let my voice be heard...I found myself opening my eyes to what seemed to be a familiar room. Found myself with my pillow comfortably tucked in my arms. Found myself awakening in a cozy position, lying with my chest facing my nice, firm, childhood mattress. Starred at the empty redwine glass on the chair beside the table from a few nights ago. I then found my cell phone under the pillow, where I hid it whilst it had been trying to seduce me into reality from my dreams.

And I realized it was a rare sleep, because I haven't had vivid dreams for a very long time. One of which came with a quote that I will remember. One with familiar faces in dreams, and my familiar behaviours... it was me in the dream. It was my dream. I was dreaming my dream.

A Hug to remember.

I did something different today. I didn't put on my music while I walked on the streets. Maybe as a result, I wasn't walking faster than the people around me. I was at a slower, more natural pace. Just taking it easy, as I stroll along.

And maybe it was because of that, I witnessed something special.

As people were zooming along in the middle of a busy Monday afternoon, my eyes' attention was caught by an embraced couple, seeming to stand still in time. With the woman's head laying comfortably sidely on the man's shoulder, the man was gently touching the woman's back, stroke by stroke. An aura of comfort was around the couple. As passers-by carry on with their daily activities, it seemed time has frozen for the two. As I slowly walked on, I couldn't stop but pondering what had happened: 'Was the girl very sad?'; 'did the couple had a fight?'; or were they simply in love, and wanting to enjoy the moment?'...

How do the 'hugs' at the end of messages, or emails compared to a physical one?

As I continued my afternoon... I was trying to think hard when was the last time I gave or received a warm heartfelt hug. And honestly speaking, it has been longer than I want. How EASY, and impactful a hug can be! It is a sign of comfort, of support, of warmth, of caring, of togetherness. The environments and the cultures I have been exposed to have allowed me to feel comfortable being physically close to people. Touching, hugging, kissing on the cheeks are considered common everyday behaviours. Being in East Asia, I knew what behaviour is considered to be culturally insensitive...and it was a natural change in my code of conduct when coming back to this part of the world. But to be honest, I'm starting to miss that feeling of proximity very much. I miss a hug that doesn't feel unnatural, that I do not have to hesitate: Is it acceptable to hug this person? How tight can this hug be? Can this hug last more than 1 second? Should I shake a guy's hand or should I hug him? If I hug a girl, would it be sending a misleading message?

Thanks to the hugging couple, I am reminded how comforting the feeling can be when you are greeted with a smile, opened arms, and a warm embrace. I do miss hugging very much.

Pause please.

I wish there is a pause button in life. How wonderful would that be? I feel I need it now.

To pause the entire world. And I climb on top of the Mountain, and see the world in front of me. With a gentle wind blowing along the autumn landscape. To feel the great Ocean in front of me. To sit on the grass, with my notebook, a pen, and just myself.

Maybe it's this fast-paced world I am exposed to now that I feel life is moving at such a great speed, and I'm just struggling to keep up with it.

If I do not pause that button, I would feel even more lost, and it would be a bigger struggle to catch up.

So can you pass me the remote please. Or press that 'pause' button for me?

"...why should we not calmly and patiently review our own thoughts, and thoroughly examine and see what these appearances in us really are?"

a sign...

Mercury retrogrades in your sign today, creating the illusion of suspended time. The Moon emphasizes your emotions as it, too, enters emotional Scorpio. You may feel quite unsure of yourself, for your moods swing wide and fast, making it difficult to take definitive action. Be gentle with yourself now and enjoy floating until things settle down and you know which way to go.

Lesson from 2005.

I've been wanting to write here for a long time. Many thoughts have been coming from my heart, confusing my mind.

In my room, I sit. It's 2.44am. My room is lit by Bacilo's Tabaco y Chanel /tabaco%20y%20chanel.mp3 playing, filled by two dim candles. I'm drowned into the thoughts of a-found-bottle of cheap red wine that has been laying at home untouched. It's not the same wine as I was introduced to just some months ago, not of the variety that has the power to grasp my attention towards the wine-drinking art. This will do for now. Who knows when, or even IF, I will re-live it.

I am struggling, trying to find my place. Between the new and the old, the future and the past. It seems to have a recurring theme in the past few days as I continue my discovery of Hong Kong, and my life journey.

When referring to the future, I can think of two types of future I've been inteacting with. To the newest members of AIESEC, and going a bit further...to the generation that was born on 2005.

I will talk now about the second kind.

Yes, 2005.

What does the world mean to a two year old? What does life really mean at that age? What is important in life for them? It's a tender age. It's where they are starting to learn how to speak, how to have a conversation with other human beings alike. Having a complex language system is what defines our species as Homo sapiens. So what does life mean to a two year old? What makes them laugh? smile? cry?



Interacting with them 2 times a week now has re-opened a part of the world to me. I'm commuting to a part of Hong Kong that a normal person from my area would just not go in their lifetime that much. And do I have to travel through a harbour, bridges, and tunnels to that particular classroom to understand it?

The 1 hour and 15 minutes I spend with them each time can truly exhaust my complete body. I've taught from aged 8 to even 65 before throughout the years. And teaching toddlers who may not even know how to speak is quite an interesting learning experience. It's refreshing and tiring at the same time.

I've always loved kids, and always begged for a little brother or a sister when I was smaller. And when I was talking to my soon-to-be boss on the phone about the kids, I was listening with a sudden-softened heart. And I just could not resist this opportunity to be their English teacher for the time being, and as a by-product, earn a biiiiit of money to survive longer in Hong Kong.

Today, I just finished teaching my fourth class. I have two different classes, one older (3-4 years), and one younger (1.5 - 2 years). And today, I had the younger crew. Playing with our primitive toys again with them, of plastic balls, cars, blocks with ABC on it, all on a foam-covered brightly decorated room, I felt life was simpler. Purer. Teaching, singing, and dancing the familiar children songs I also learnt: one little, two little, three little indians... or head and shoulders knees and toes... witnessing the smiles, the curious looks when the music is gone, brings a smile to me.

Trying to devote all my energy I had to jump around, crawl around like a tiger, tickling the toddlers, carrying them up into the air...running around with them, and calming them down... it completely challenged my energy level, and my facilitating (sorry, had bring aiesec into this!) skills. And yes, Aigul, I'm trying to make their day. =)

And to the new teacher, who's trying to be at least half-as good as the previous teacher, the aim really is to gain the trust of the students. And in this case, even for them to say my name, and stop asking where the previous teacher was.

And as a second time being with them, something magical happened today that just made MY day. After singing the goodbye song, and everyone was ready to put back their shoes back on... a little girl, one who doesn't know how to speak much yet, just came and hugged me. Then another boy followed, and also hugged me.



So what is life really to the generation of 2005? For these two year-olds?

Without realizing it, these restless bunch are teaching me some life lessons -reminding me what makes one laugh, smile, cry, frown, feel happy, or sleepy...

An almost forgotten Thanksgiving

I woke up this morning feeling sick, a flu is what I got. Haven't felt like this since I arrived in the virus infected MC house of 14 people during transition in Southern Cone. The virus just kept mutating and we rotated to get sick at least twice each during 1 month. Funny memories.

So how did I get sick? Maybe it's the constant shocking change of the 33 degrees outdoor air, and the 20 degrees air-conditioned rooms. It's sunny and it's way too hot! for October! Isn't it suppose to be spring time?

Some highlights of my past week:

-started teaching 2 year-old kids English as a parttime =))))

-Costa Rica finally voted YES (51.6% vs 48.4%for the CAFTA (Central America Free Trade Agreement)with the US. Costa Rica being the last country to ratify it, and has been an on-going issue for the past year or two.
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601086&sid=aYoAY.bTDD2o&refer=latin_america

-Realizing today, by accident that it's Thanksgiving Day. Seriously need Canadian cultural re-integration! Maybe NC 2008? hmmm...

-my first AIESEC Hong Kong conference! My first Asian Pacific one for that matter! It was an induction conference for over 100 pre-selected newies of AIESEC in Hong Kong University. Lots of cultural discoveries this weekend. I was thoroughly challenged by how the conference was run, and asking myself WHY was it being ran that way. (I plan to write in a separate post when I feel better.)

For now, HAPPY THANKSGIVING everyone!!! Have to continue surviving without much turkey nor pumpkin, nor hockey. But lots of sunshine, warmth, and motivating newies of AIESEC.

Reggaeton está en HONG KONG!!!!

I have been dying to go out, to dance. And exactly one month after I arrive, I finally had the chance to go out.

Somehow, my entire day involved playing a lot of my Latino music collection...mostly reggaeton, and salsa...I was at home just releasing my energy...but I knew I couldn't hold it longer if I don't go out. And how the hell would I find a place where they play salsa and even more importantly reggaeton???

And somehow it just happened. I wished it hard during the day, and now I'm back home at 4:24am writing here, feeling exhausted from dancing, a release of my energy that has been withheld for over a month. (maybe since the Bosphorus AIESEC parties under the bridge in Istanbul, post IC.)

It had been a very nice night, was at a Middle-Eastern style restaurant where they had shisha. I didn't eat there, but I was joining a group that was already having dinner there. I didn't smoke shisha, cos I just don't. Ethel, you are probably screaming at me right now for not smoking it. jaja...=P necesitas a venir a Hong Kong, en serio! Y ya sabés la diferencia entre cantonés y mandarin jeje... =)

That was a re-taste of Turkey and Istanbul, although I must admit, in IC, or after IC, I wasn't able explore too much of the culture there. On the last night of IC, when there was a huge group going to the shisha place, I opted to stay on campus, and ended up with the Mexicans with tequila! =)

So anyways...after the restaurant, we ended up at a club, where when I entered, I was just screaming with joy. It was hip-hop music. I hadn't danced hip-hop fully for 2 years. In my Latin American experience, Hip-hop was just impossible to find. I spent 1.5 years trying to find a hip-hop place in Costa Rica and Panama with NO luck. =( But hey, the Latin music was just soooo good that there was NO need for hip-hop!

A few hours of hip-hop then led to a tune that I was just so overly joyed about. I was jumping up and down in my heart...when they played 'Impacto' by Daddy Yankee and Fergie...Honestly that 4 minutes was just orgasmic for me!!! =D Then they continued with 'Hips don't lie' by 'Shakira'...which was though commercialized, still a classic from my Central American experience. A few minutes later of calm hip-hop, then came 'Gasolina' by Daddy Yankee. And I just lost it. Imagine me. Shaking like there was no tomorrow. I was just going nuts. Gave some choques to my friends. but it was all worth it!

So a 3 hour session of intense hip-hop, and a 3 latino songs was enough to make a hongkongcito HAPPY. On the happy scale of 1-10, I was a 9. -with the help of some tequila =)

I just somehow need to spend more days WISHING hard to dance. Just like tonight. Ahhh... the post-orgasm feeling is still there. NICE. =P

Going to take some time now, relax... before an AIESEC conference tomorrow. It's going to be a good weekend. =D

Plan tranquilo!

Finally it's here! The 'Imperial' beer commercial: 'Plan tranquilo' is out in Costa Rican TV!

Well, after such a long wait (7 months!)...Mónica (my successor in CAS) told me it was out on TV! I was writing to the agency to get the copy of the video. Well, I knew it would take sometime, and it would've been on youtube already, albeit a poorer quality.

And yes, as expected, they edited quite a bit, and cut me quite a bit! All my speaking role is gone! And I appeared only in tiny part of the screen for 0.3 micro seconds. But heck, it was a VERY interesting experience. (Almost one year! come to think of it. I did my casting and had my photos taken in November 2006, and now it's October 2007). And MOST importantly, I was finally able to pay off one month's rent with my money!

My several interviews for this particular commercial was a classic story to tell from my Costa Rican and Panamanian experience. Highlight interview: I had to dance for 2 girls (my interviewers), AND be filmed while doing it. I assume the two girls enjoyed it when they said 'que rico!'. But judging from my role in the commercial, it was just purely for their 3 minute enjoyment in the interview. =)

These are experiences, not a regular MC member, any AIESECer, or even any foreigner in country can do! When the going get tough, and you just have no money to pay rent for 2 months in a foreign land...you will discover, and develop your survival instincts.

Aunque sea la mañana, ocupo una aguilita bien fria ya, mae!!! Diay, extraño demasiado tiquicia!!! Quiero regresar!!! No pueden comprender...estoy soñando de regresar!!! Sí al TLC! Quiero ver la marca de birrita tica más raja'o fuera del país mae!!! JAJAJAAA...

¡¡¡PURA BIRRA!!!

Below is the youtube quality video: (I appear on the 25th second. and yes, for 0,3 micro seconds, gotta focus!)